Words On My Heart

"Mom."

"Dad."

"Grandma."

"Grandpa."

"Lexi."

"Elmo."

"Uh-Oh."

"Juice."

"Yummy."

"Potty."

"Thank-you."

"Good Night"

"Good Morning."

"Bless you."

"Love You!"

"Amen."

Simple words? Yes. Music to my ears? Absolutely. These words are just a few of Oakley's words in his variety of his every growing vocabulary. He speaks all the time and is picking up on conversation and new phrases every day. It is so fun and amazing to see his little mind at work. It really puts a smile on my face just to hear his sweet little voice and all the little words he learns everyday.

It seems like yesterday that he was cooing and just beginning to smile occasionally to now speaking and voicing his wants. I love it.

Speaking of voicing "wants." I want to share a little something.

For the last week or so I have had something happen to me. I find it comforting, and yet surreal. So, for some reason for the last few nights, I have been very restless. I am not sure why, but I am. But when I awake, I find something rather interesting happen. When I wake, and in the silence of the night, I hear something. That something is my voice. And that voice is silent. That voice is the voice inside my head. That voice awakens me from my deep sleep. This voice is speaking. This voice is speaking its wants and desires to Him. To God. To Heaven.

For the last few nights, when I awake during the night I am "mid-prayer." I am praying while I sleep. I am speaking the words in my heart to Him.  I can't even descirbe it. I find my heart content and my soul happy, but I am speaking to God while I sleep rather. I can almost decribe the prayers when I awake, but yet I am so comforted by the thought of it, that I drift back to sleep.

 Sounds a little crazy, right?

I had to share this with Barry the first morning after it happened, just becuase it was something that has never happened to me.

For the last 4 1/2 years, when I lay in bed and begin to fall asleep, I pray. I started this routine faithfully following Tanner's death. I would whisper in the silence of my heart to heaven and "talk" to Tanner and to Jesus. It instantly gave me comfort and hope. I have only continued this routine every night as well as many times throughout my days.

I have had a lot on my heart lately. I know that is why I pray without ceasing, even while I sleep. He knows the words that I say, even when I cannot find the words to speak to Him.

The words on my heart and the words on my lips I want them all to be pleasing and glorifying to Him. I want to not only speak but to listen. I want always to praise Him and thank Him. I want to do nothing more than to listen and obey.

Speaking. Listening. Praying. Believing.

Blessings.

Sarah