I Have Been Praying For You

 After we lost our little Hudson Daniel our world was shaken. We honestly did not know where to turn but to one another. We grieved not only for the loss of our second precious son, but for the loss of our future of creating our family. We tried not to ask God "Why?" or "Why us again?" but rather "For what purpose?" We were waiting and praying that God would reveal himself to us.

During that next year we contemplated and researched our options but really did not know where to begin. It is a hard decision when you are faced to choose an "option" when you are just choosing to have a child to love. Our "options" were and still are adoption, gestational carrier, or embryo adoption. With all three of these "options", the end result is a child for us to love and to call our own and that is all we ever wanted. We couldn't decide where to turn but to God and so we just prayed, waited, and kept the hope alive.

Well, our next chapter began on July 22, 2011. Just over a year after we lost Hudson. It was a Friday. We had made plans to have supper with some friends of ours and I spent the afternoon in the garden picking green beans and fresh peas to go with our meal. It was a day that I didn't work and so I hadn't showered til later in the afternoon. I decided at about 4:00 pm that I would hop in the shower to get ready for the evening. While in the shower, my cell phone rang about 6 times. I quickly dried off and got out to see that my mom had called and Barry had called multiple times. I called Barry first. He said "Did you talk to your mom?" I said, "No, why?" wondering "Oh no, is everything ok?" He said, "I think you better give her a call." I hung up and called her right away.

When she picked up she could barely speak. She said, "Sweetie, I have something to tell you. I just had the most amazing yet most unbelievable phone call." I said, "Oh ya?!" She continued to tell me that someone, that knew someone, that knew someone... knew of Barry and my story and our struggle to have a family and wanted to know if we would be at all interested in adopting a baby?" I couldn't speak. This was just a dream, right? She continued to tell me the little information that she knew and that the birth mom had heard of our story and had already "chosen" us without even meeting us. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. I said, "YES!"

She also said that the baby was due on August 21!! I said, "Like in 4 weeks?! She said, "Yes." I said "Oh my, can this work? What do we need to do? Who do we contact?" She said, "I called Barry right after I called you the first time and told him too". I said, "Call whoever called you and tell them, YES!" She hung up and said I will call you back in a few minutes.

Those next minutes felt like hours. Barry came home and we both just looked at one another in complete shock. You see, Barry and I hadn't done anything yet to make the move on adopting a baby, nor had we started the process. We knew that in order to adopt a baby you needed to have back-ground checks, fingerprints, financial studies, home studies, ect. We began to ask each other questions... "Is this for real?" ,"Are we ready?", "Will the birth mom change her mind?" and so on.

My mom called back a few minutes later. And in the mean time, she had contacted an adoption agency to ask them questions as we had no idea the legalities of this unknown. The agency assured us that this could be done and what we all needed to complete, in order for the process to go smoothly. My mom and dad called us on speaker phone as we all just cried happy and nervous tears. We were SO amazed that God was revealing His plan to us, but had no idea it would be this BIG or this amazing! :)

That night the birth mom had received our phone number and a message telling her that we had said "Yes?" and that we would love to visit with her on the phone if she so chose. That evening she called. It was like an angel speaking on the other line. After we said our "Hello's," I couldn't think of anything else to say to get the conversation going but, "I have been praying for you." As soon as we heard word of the possibility of this miracle baby, I began to pray. I prayed for her mind to be at peace. I prayed for the unborn baby to be healthy and strong. I prayed for her heart as I was sure it was struggling with this decision. I prayed that Barry and I would make good parents. I prayed this was real and true. I just prayed.

We began to talk and it was so natural. She started off by saying that she was due in 4 weeks. She shared that her pregnancy was going smoothly and that the baby was healthy and strong. She then shared that the baby's gender was a boy! She shared that she would like us to be at the birth and that we could name the baby. She asked us a few questions, but really she was just as relieved to have found us. On the very first phone call, she would refer to Barry as the little one's "Dad" and myself as the little one's "Mom. It felt like a dream.

She stated that her mind was 100% made up and she promised she wouldn't change her mind. She said, " I have heard of your story and I am so sorry. You two have been through enough already, that I won't change my mind and make you suffer anymore." We couldn't believe what we were hearing. She was making this too easy. She was saying all the things that we were hoping to hear to make this feel real. We made arrangements to get the process going and said we would be in contact over the next few weeks.

As we hung up the phone, Barry and I held each other. We cried and prayed. We talked all night about what had just happened. We researched all that we needed to do and became nervous as this was all happening so quickly. We were trying to wrap our minds around what was about to happen. Amazingly, we were calm throughout the next weeks. God calmed and readied our hearts and our minds as He knew this was just what we had hoped and prayed for.

We really truly believe that God created this little life for us. And that He had a hand in all of this and had orchestrated it so wonderfully, that Barry and I were in awe. We were in awe that we were finally going to have a little one to love. We were in true amazement of this wonderful answer to our prayers.

Over the next weeks we were busy! We cleared out the office and chose paint colors. We set up the crib and changing table and bought the necessitates.We got out the name books and studied them trying to find the "perfect" name. We both really loved the name Oakley. We chose the name and said his name as we waited eagerly to meet him.We told our close family our news. They were just in shock as we were when we told them how soon our little one would be arriving. It was such a special time.

The next 4 weeks flew by as we reflect back. We were busy and I think God planned it that way to calm our hearts and our minds. He had this all under control, He was busy making our dreams come a reality.

Our little miracle baby arrived on August 20th, 2011. We named him Oakley John. He is sure a special blessing to us, and we are still thanking God for his many blessings.

I will blog again soon about his arrival and about how life is today!

Blessings.

Sarah